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2 entries this month
Oriah Mountain Dreamer02:00 Mar 11 2009
Times Read: 635
The following is an excerpt taken from Oriah Mountain Dreamer. I think it speaks volumes, if you agree, check out her website.
The Invitation
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
One Man List:08:38 Mar 01 2009
Times Read: 671
where do i start. at the end? i trust too damn easily. i put out the truth and despite having worked with ppl who beat their children within inches of taking their life and spirit, child molesters and murders, i still expect and look for ppl to do the right thing and to keep their word. why do i continue to beleive in the human race?????
~one man tells you "you'll never be blinded" and then he threatens to take your sight.
~one man tells you he loves you and you find out it was all a dress rehearsal.
~one man tells you i'll see you "after i move a couch" only to find out "after this" apparantly has no end.
~one man tells you he is a good person and you find out he wants to take your right to say no.
~one man tells you he will come to visit only to find out he doesnt feel comfortable with it because of my reaction about another man who has made my list.
What am I to do? give up on people? i would need to change my career then. if i dont beleive ppl can change and become better (in most instances) then i have no right being a therapist.
i am not a naive person. I have lived thru and survived many things in my life. *climbs up on cross* but i have yet to survive my own hypercritical tapes that run in my head at times. i work to change my messages...but they keep coming like a freaking train...i see the light getting closer and i can hear the sound and i feel the vibration in my stomach...but damn if i dont stay on the track until the last second.
i mean wtf?? just dont go back on the track!!!
but then i put my therapist hat on and i think that is silly...no black and white thinking will not solve this problem...but how do you find balance in a chaotic world?
i have to get back to the gym...i have missed way too much over the last 2 weeks. i have got to eat better. i feel my body getting clogged w/ toxins. i have got to focus more on work...paperwork primarily. so i wont be having my IM up all the time at work...it is too tempting to chat with ppl. i do have so much fun with people here.
that leads me to my confession.... yes,
number 1, 666...
i love VR. i love many ppl on here. hell, i fell in love with a man from here. i have great friends in peter and rachel...they love me and know my soul. badbadkitty you understand all my darkest secrets that i dont allow others to see. vampire616 (lette) my baby girl...you are so sweet and remind me of myself. chrys you have listened to me and given me advice and support and pointed out my own role in such a beautiful manner. Beautiful mistake...you are a wonderful supportive woman. jay you always give me support and a laugh. Kourt you make me smile and feel alive. dan and chris thanks for involving me in rl stuff. Lainey thanks for your kindness and opening your home to me. B thanks for providing me safety and for your incredible sacrifice...i'm humbled. yes, last but by no means least...rob. i dont know how we do what we do...sometimes it blows my mind...but i dont beleive you can love someone and then kick them out of your life. that is not any sort of love. love can evolve and become other forms of love...a different type of relationship. with forgiveness.
speaking of forgiveness...i miss how it used to be on the open waters, sails flapping and Jolley Rogers flying high...but even that evolved. the waters too choppy, and not for me but for people i care for. it was time for me to come ashore and get my legs back. i cant ride a storm where my friends are picked off one by one.
that is what i must do within my rl...i must get my legs back under me and not let one man ruin it for the next...*smirck, shakes head* see there i go again...ready to trust the next person. but he will not be invited into my home...not until my friends trust him, too.
to all my friends, thank you. i love you all!
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COMMENTS
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beautifulmistake
08:22 Mar 11 2009
Absolutely blown away EP.............I will definitely have a look at her website. love BM
EmeraldPhoenix
08:31 Mar 11 2009
yesh...isn't it incredible...blows me away. i have it on my bathroom counter and try to take a moment each day to reflect on atleast a small, simple piece of it. please, do check out her website...she is incredible.
PhoenicianDream
16:45 Mar 11 2009
Wonderful..
I'll have to check out the site.
thefeeder
00:59 Mar 12 2009
Fabulous and so profound!
Isis101
21:31 Mar 19 2009
EP - you are right - very good!
It is beautiful in its simplicity.